Do you need a divorce lawyer?

Do you need a divorce lawyer?

Divorces are a very messy part of life. A divorce lawyer can be a big part of that mess. There are a lot of emotions involved along with finances. It is quite simply a difficult part of life. If you are about to get divorced you are probably looking for the best divorce lawyer so that you can get what you deserve or your friend who got a nice settlement has recommended their family lawyer and you are considering calling. Before you do any of that ask yourself if getting a lawyer is the best solution to your divorce.

It may seem like you can only get a divorce by using a lawyer but this is not the case. Here are a few reasons why you should not use a divorce lawyer;

1. Divorce lawyers can be very expensive

Lawyers are usually paid by the hour and they charge for every piece of paper that they use in your matter. Even a simple phone call is added to your bill. At the end of the day once the divorce is done you will be left paying a hefty bill to your lawyer which will only add to the pain of having to go through a divorce.

2. They make the process take longer

We have all heard horror stories of painful divorces that take years to end. Getting a divorce is like ripping off a band-aid; it hurts! You would rather it be done quickly so that you can deal with the pain in that moment and move on than spend hours doing it slowly so that the pain is drugged out. Because they are paid hourly, they would rather that your divorce drugs on so that they are paid more. You may even find yourself in court because of them. Divorce lawyers are often out for their own interests and they could leave you bruised and broken.

3. You lose control of your divorce

When you involve divorce lawyers they are meant to act on your behalf and therefore they speak for you. In many cases this does not mean that the lawyer will do everything that you say. A lot of times they will take the initiative to do things on your behalf because they think that it is for the best but it may not be what you wanted or even what you need.

4. Involving divorce lawyers could ruin relationships

You may be ending your marriage but it does not mean that you will never see each other again. Therefore, it is best that your relationship remains cordial. This is especially necessary where you have children together and you mean to co- parent. You will need to maintain a good relationship for the sake of the children. Divorce lawyers are not concerned with keeping a good relationship, all they want is to get the most out of your soon to be ex- wife/ husband by any means possible. This could lead to ruined relationships.

5. There are better options

A lot of people think that to get divorced you need a divorce lawyer. This is far from the truth. You can settle the matter yourselves or you can hire a mediator. A mediator will cut cost because instead of paying two lawyers you will pay just on mediator. The mediator is also interested in coming to a mutual conclusion where both parties agree which ensures that you keep your relationships cordial. You also get to speak for yourself so you have a definite say on all vital issues. They are also interested in ending the matter quickly and avoiding court. It is better to hire a mediator than to deal with the divorce on your own because the mediator can ensure that you are on the right course and that emotions do not get the better of both of you. Therefore, you do not have to go to a lawyer to get a divorce there are other more peaceful and efficient ways to do it.


Divorce lawyers work in an adversarial system so by their nature all they want is to win even at the expense of their client. This could cost you a lot financially and emotionally. If you are thinking of getting a divorce or are in the process of getting a divorce you should consider getting a mediator. They are cheaper, faster and more efficient.